My wife has ‘new relationship energy’ with her girlfriend

Q: Straight guy here in a one-sided open relationship. My wife and I opened up our relationship to her and to women only, so she could explore the bisexual side of herself. I’m super proud of her for coming out of her closet and I wanted her to feel fulfilled. When we agreed on this, I was naive and thought that whatever she experienced would be purely sexual and nothing more. She recently got feelings and now she has a girlfriend. He stays at her girlfriend’s house one or two nights a week. I get jealous and sick to my stomach when she’s there. She has this “new relationship energy” and talks about her girlfriend all the time. Jealousy aside, I feel like I’m not a priority. I hope my feelings improve with time. Besides this, our marriage is great. I love my wife very much and I want to support her in this. Are one-sided open relationships something that can work? Are my feelings unjustified and what can I do to better manage them? The logic used when we talked about a one-sided open relationship was that I can’t satisfy the feminine side that she wants. But since I’m straight, I don’t have an “unfulfilled” side. -Home alone

A: Your wife is not the first person to come out as bisexual after making a monogamous commitment to an opposite-sex partner and then asking permission to sleep with other people, not wanting to extend the same permission to her straight spouse. Since she is bisexual and cannot have sex at home, the reasoning is that she should be allowed to have sex elsewhere. Since you are straight and can get pussy at home (when that pussy is at home), you are not entitled to the same allowance. But as his wife is proving, HA, it’s not just pussy she’s getting elsewhere. While she’s meeting a very specific need outside of her relationship, certainly a need you can’t meet, she’s getting much more than that. In addition to pussy, she’s getting variety, adventure, unique experiences, new relationship energy, and two nights a week. Why shouldn’t you have some of that too? Not to equalize the score, but to feel that you are an equal partner in this marriage and, as such, entitled to the same conditions, the same treatment and the same benefits.

And it doesn’t sound like the two of you were on the same page when it came to what opening up your relationship entailed. He seems to have assumed, or imagined, that his wife would seek sex elsewhere, sex and only sex, but his wife “got feelings” and now has a girlfriend. Accepting a one-sided open relationship is not the same as accepting one-sided polyamory. If you didn’t agree to that, HA, your wife had no right to expect that of you or impose that on you.

That said, one-sided open relationships can be great, ha, but they work best when the person not seeking sex outside of the relationship isn’t interested in having sex with other people or is aroused by the erotic power imbalance. of being prohibited from something that your spouse is allowed; basically this could work if you were a cuckold. that you are not

Q: I am a straight man who has been married to a wonderful woman for 35 years. I’m the only person he’s ever been with. Over the years, he has become a wonderful generous partner, open to things that turn me on. I am proud to be able to give her multiple orgasms, even though she only wants to do this once a month. She’s even been happy to pleasure me several times a month, but she talks about it like it’s a chore (“wifely duties”) and she always asks me why I want it so much. I tell her that it’s more normal for men to want it more, and I wish she wanted it more too! I have used porn to turn me on since my teens. She accepts this because it means fewer chores for her, but she doesn’t like it. I recently started using my phone to take videos of her giving me oral sex as I enjoy watching this and it cuts down on porn. She checked my phone and was upset by what she saw. I told her that she was sorry, but she says that she should have asked permission. I told him that she would have asked his permission, but I knew the answer would be no! She said of course it would be no and she called it disgusting and sick! I tried to explain again that it is quite normal behavior that most men want to look at and it is for my eyes only! As I said, she has evolved, as early in the marriage she would never have done some of the things that she learned to do while she was pleasuring me. Long story short, any tips on this sexy activity for me, not so much for her. “I sincerely appreciate your advice, Sweet Savage.”

A: It is not okay to take photos or videos of someone performing a sexual act without their consent, SAYASS, even if that person is your wife. Even if that someone has a lower libido than you, even if that someone prefers you not to watch porn, even if that someone enjoys most of the things you want them to do, not only is that not okay, SAYASS, it’s a crime. It’s not normal behavior, it’s jerk behavior, and again in most places it’s literally criminal behavior. So his wife has every right to be upset. You raped her and you did it knowingly; You say you didn’t ask permission to make those videos because you knew she would say no. Dude. If his wife had been writing to me, SAYASS, I would advise her to find a lawyer and divorce you.

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