Crazy ‘Bulldozer’ Morrison, can you fix it? no you can’t

Is Scott Morrison so delusional, so out of touch with reality, so shortsighted, that he actually believes some of the nonsense he says?

Because nothing he says, or so close to nothing as to make no difference, can really be believed or taken at face value.

On Saturday, in the fringe Melbourne seat of MP Michael Sukkar, Morrison described himself as a bulldozer. This was right after wearing a funny hat and stirring a huge vat of daal at a Deakin Sikh temple. You know, just Scott Morrison’s usual day on or off the campaign trail.

“I know, Australians know, I can be a bit of a bulldozer when it comes to trouble. I suspect you know it too. he said, after he stopped doing it on camera and took off his beige party hat.

An excavator? What did he mean?

His answer came later that same day, after an interesting attempt at kicking a football on some dingy, wet AFL ground.

Apparently, did you mean he was a “fixer”! And he’s such a terrifying, passionate fixer-up guy that he sometimes hurts casual bystanders in his manic rush to retrieve whatever’s broken.

Morrison provided this clarification in response to a reporter’s question suggesting that he was, well… not that kind of person at all, quite the opposite.

“You said your leadership needed to shift gears to be what Australia needed during the pandemic.” journalist it started.“But what Australians are also unhappy with are the responses to the fires, the floods, women’s safety, the integrity commission. Are you saying the pandemic influenced your response to those other issues, or can we expect a change of focus beyond the economic recovery and the opportunity that you have?” you are talking?”

Morrison took a moment to get into character and deliver his new lines:

“I’ve told this story several times, so forgive me if I tell it again.”

For a devout Pentecostal, asking Jesus for forgiveness before spilling a bucket of fetid, steaming garbage on everyone is simply good manners.

Morrison and the secret Pentecostal plan for world domination

Then he walked over to Jenny.

No, no, no… not in a “Love machine” kind of way! Anecdotally, because it scores better in the focus groups. he understands?

morrison explained:

“Jenny refers to them as the ‘Morrison Men.’ My father, my brother and I went in and fixed things. And sometimes when we go in and fix things, people can get the impression that maybe we’re not that aware of a lot of the sensitivities that can come up around these issues.”

Morrison then compared himself to one of his recklessly heroic family mates:

“We see a crisis, we see a problem, we see a need. My brother is a paramedic. He appears in a scene, he sees a child who is in great danger. He just gets to work.”

At least as easy with Albanian, and not so sleazy

“I must admit I’m a bit the same” Morrison reluctantly admitted.

The question, if you remember, mentioned “fires, floods, women’s safety [and the] integrity commission.

When the fires came, he went to Hawaii. When there was flooding, he called the ADF to take pictures. When a staff member was raped in his party’s parliamentary offices, the only thing that was quickly done was to clean the sofa. As for an integrity commission, he promised it before the last election and has voted against a 31 times.

Some fixer.

As for COVID, when COVID was starting to grow in Australia in 2020, he announced on a Friday that the restrictions would start on Monday, then he was seen singing in church that weekend.

He did not order enough vaccines, after insulting Pfizer by not speaking to them directly and sending a junior official to negotiate the purchase. When Omicron’s deadly strain arrived, Morrison bought all the RAT tests and put them in storage so no one could buy one anywhere.

Now Australia has the highest rates of COVID infection in the entire world.

If Scott Morrison is a fixer, he’d hate to see him try to destroy the joint.

But wait a minute…

Didn’t he call himself a bulldozer?

Maybe he doesn’t always lie.

Keep up with the founder of AI David G Donovan’s regular column on Tuesday mornings each week. You can follow Dave on Twitter @davrosz. Also, follow Independent Australia on Twitter @independienteauson Facebook HERE and Instagram HERE.

Related Posts

Support independent journalism Subscribe to IA.

Leave a Comment